Girman Yaro da Wahala - The Homework Battle: Parenting a Five-Year-Old Like Negotiating with a Genius

 raising a child is difficult, 

I know, right? What a revelation; I am stating the most obvious thing. 

But God knows, raising a child is difficult, and I am not talking about the external things, like paying for things the child needs and dealing with illnesses and whatnot. 

Just really trying to get another human being to listen to me to do what I have asked, but the hardest thing right now, worse than any fever or vomiting, is trying to get my child to do his reading homework. 

Yes, I know the teachers say don't force him, make it fun let him do as little as he wants, make it interesting, entertaining. 

That is all well and good when the child is in the mood, when the child is being that angel of yours, that most precious thing. 

But when the child is being human,  when the child is learning guile and how to manipulate and test the limits of your patience, when the child is learning you, what you like to hear, what they can say, the way they can say it that will get you off their back. 

When the child knows you are tired or if not exactly knows, understands that your A behaviour leads to you B result. Then your patience is tested. 

Everyday I have to relearn and pay attention to the child to understand what cues his is reading and how my I being played. 

I know I make my child sound like the most intelligent, cunning con man; after all, he is only five. But though I may be full of hyperbole at this instant, I am telling you children are the most difficult humans to wrangle. 

Brand new neurons, synapses snapping and growing every milisecond. The baby you met 59 months ago has gone. This a newly upgraded biologiance intelligence. 

Who will do as much as they want to when they want how they want to, and if you want anything more, you are going to have to push, bribe, beg, threaten, send to bed, take away treats, give praises, scold. 

I mean, why is it so hard to read the same words you read yesterday from the same book? 

Girma da yaro da wahalla

Ai nasani, wanna ba sobon magana ba ne. Ko sokko ya san wanan. 

Amma Allah ya san, girmada da da wahalla. Bana magana abun waje kaman kudadden da za a kashe akan saye saye abubuwan da ya kamata a rayada yaron, bar mamagana wahalan ciwo da saura. 

Akwai wahalla, in ance was dan adam ya ji magana da zayi masa amfani, wanin wahallan sa ya fi  wahallan kulla da jajri mai zazzabi and amai, ba abun duniya da ya fi wahalla kaman a ce wa yaron yayi karatu da makarantansa suka bashi yakawo gida.

Ai, nasan mallamai makarantan bokon sa sunce kada a sa shi karatun dolle,  wai ni nayi mai karatun don ya mishi kamman wasa, wai na bar yaron yayi karantun iyyaka da zai iyya, ni na zama charli charli da abun wasa domin yaro yayi samu ilimin boko. 

Haka dai! Duk wanan bai lafi in yaron nason karatun, in yaron yaga dama, in a lokacin yaron shi ne dan babykin, wandakiki so, mai halin abun sha'awa.

Da lokacin da karatun ya haddu da bazan halin dan Adam, ga yaro ya fara wayo, yara fara gani hallaiyen ki, ya fara gwada karifin ki da nashi, ya faron gane abuwan da zayi da zai sa ki bada ansa da kike so, ya fara gane wani maganan zai ce kifirta hanyansa, 

Lokacin da yaron ki ya gane kin kaji, kin shiga ukku, lokacin da yaron ki ya ganne in ki amsa "A "ya zama "B " zai faru. A lokacin, zaki Kiran sunna Allah, in ba haka, Allah Karim.

Ko wani locin kemana dolle ki hanga hallin sa, ki karya koyo, ki sa iddo akan yaron, daidai ki gane mai shi yaron ye gani, mai yakoya a hallin ki, wani sabon wayo zai zuba miki.

Nasan rubutun da nayi, zaka tsamani yaron wani munafuki ne, wanda Allah ya kawo ya tayar mini da hankali. Haba shakaran yaron biyar. Nasan na iya kara magana amma Inna gayamuku girma da yaron nada wahala

sabobin neurons, da synapses, na ta wuta a cikin kokolwan yaron, ko wani lokaci. Jaririn da an sami wantaini bayan 59 ya batce. Wanan a gaba na sabon, upgrade na biological intelligence.

Wanan sabon hallita, zai yi abunda ya ga dama, a lokacin da ya ga dama, in ya ga dama, in kina so yayi aikin da fi abunda yake so, sai dai a matsa mishi, a llabe shi, a roke shi, a mishi fadda, a mishi duka, karon shi daikin yayi barci, a karba kayan wasa daga wajansa, a tapa mishi, a mai hoho.

Ni tambaya na, wai mai ya sa karantun da aki ji a yau karatun na da wahala. 

From ChatGPT 

Girma da yaro da wahala.

Ai nasan, wannan ba sabon magana ba ne. Ko sokko ya san haka.

Amma Allah ya sani, girma da yaro da gaske yana da wahala. Bana magana akan wahalar rayuwa ta waje—kudin makaranta, abinci, da jinya. A’a, ina magana ne akan wahalar sa wa yaro ya fahimta.

Wahalar sa wani ɗan adam ya ji maganarki, ya bi umarninki, ya yi abinda kika roƙe shi da ya yi.

Kuma babu abu da ya fi wahala a yanzu fiye da yin aikin karatun boko da aka ba wa ɗana.

Eh, nasan malamai sun ce kada a matsa masa. Sun ce a yi masa wasa da shi, a bar shi yayi kaɗan-kaɗan, a sauya karatun ya zama abin jin daɗi.

Haka dai! Duk wannan yana aiki idan yaron yana cikin walwala, idan yaron yana cikin halin mala'ika, idan yana cikin yanayi na ji daɗi.

Amma idan yaron yana cikin yanayin ɗan adam na gaske, sai abubuwa su canza.

Lokacin da yaro ya fara fahimtar wayo, dabara, da yadda ake jarraba haƙurin iyaye—lokacin da yake koyon halinki. Lokacin da yaro ya gane wane maganar zai faɗa, yadda zai faɗa, da lokacin da zai faɗa domin ki bar shi da kansa.

Lokacin da yaro ya gane cewa idanki kin gaji, kin fi sassautawa—ko kuma idan yayi kuka da wata murya, zai sami sakamakon da yake so—to, gaskiya sai an dage!

Ko wane rana, sai na zauna da kaina in tambayi kaina: me yasa ba na gane yadda yaro ke kokarin jan hankalina da yadda nake barin kaina in fada tarkonsa?

Ba na son in yi kamar ina zargin ɗana da wani mugun tunani. Amma gaskiya, yana da ƙwarewa fiye da tunanina! Ai shekararsa biyar kacal! Amma har yanzu, yaro shine mafi wahalar sarrafawa cikin mutane.

Sabbin neurons da synapses na su ta kama wuta a cikin kwakwalwarsa, kowanne dakika. Jaririn da na haifa shekaru biyar da suka wuce ya ɓace. Wannan kuwa? Sabon ‘biological intelligence’ ne, sabuwar hanyar tunani da bai kasance da ita a bara.

Jaririn da kika haɗu da shi hamsin da tara da suka wuce ya ɓace. Wannan sabon haɓaɓɓen hankalin halitta ne.

Yanzu yana yin abinda ya ga dama, yadda ya ga dama, kuma idan ina so in sa shi yayi fiye da haka, sai na matsa masa.

Sai dai in lallaba shi, in roƙe shi, in kwaɗa masa mari, in tura shi daki yayi barci, in hana shi kayan wasa, in ɗauke masa ‘treats’, in yi masa yabo, in yi masa gargaɗi—duk don yayi karatun da yayi jiya.

Amma wai me ya sa karatun da ya karanta jiya ya fi wahala a yau?!

The Homework Battle: Parenting a Five-Year-Old Like Negotiating with a Genius

Raising a child is difficult.

I know, right? What a revelation. I’m stating the most obvious thing in the world.

But God knows, raising a child is difficult—and I’m not even talking about the big things, like paying for school fees, medical bills, and keeping them fed and clothed.

I’m talking about something far more mentally exhausting: getting another human being to listen to me.

And right now, nothing tests me more—not a fever, not vomiting, not even sleepless nights—than trying to get my child to do his reading homework.

Yes, I know. The teachers say don't force him, make it fun, let him do as little as he wants, make it entertaining, engaging.

That’s all well and good when he’s in the mood, when he’s being my precious little angel, that soft, sweet-faced child I adore.

But when he’s being a full-fledged, five-year-old human—when he’s learning guile, when he’s testing the limits of my patience, when he’s studying me the way I’m studying him—that’s when the real challenge begins.

When a child learns your patterns—what words will get you off their back, what tone will make you soften, what behaviors will buy them more time—you realize just how much they’re playing the game.

When they sense your exhaustion and adjust their strategy accordingly, when they work out that if you react A, they get B, then your patience is truly tested.

Every day, I have to recalibrate. I have to remind myself: what is he seeing? What is he learning from my responses? How is he reading me?

I know—I’m making him sound like the most cunning little con artist. After all, he’s only five. But exaggerations aside, I swear to you—children are the hardest humans to negotiate with.

Brand-new neurons, synapses snapping and growing every millisecond.

The baby I met 59 months ago? Gone.

This is a newly upgraded biological intelligence, an ever-evolving machine of curiosity and defiance.

He will do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants.

And if I want anything more?

I have to push, beg, bribe, threaten, praise, scold, confiscate, reward, send him to bed early, take away treats, make a deal, find a loophole, adjust my tone, soften my stance, pretend I don’t care—anything just to get him to read.

And yet, every night, I ask myself the same question:

Why is it so hard to read the same words he read yesterday?