?

I've had the most amazing night,
most amazing by any standard, homo or hetero or undefined
She quirted, she came, the sheets were soaked and so was her her dress
I should be ecstatic, sublime above ground,
can you guess I am not
I think about sex over my age
my last girl friend wanted to be tied,
the one before wanted wanted a dildo,
the one after wanted a cuddle,
the second latest one wanted to be punished,

I think to myself, my first experience,
when it was about boobs and wetness and glimpses and smells
I wonder when it all got complicated,
where a woman can come and I feel detached,
the bed is drenched her clothes are soaked,
surely my ego must be through the roof.

I feel the same as the woman before,  dry, tight and complaining about the pain I caused her.
I should be elated, she comes to me, she shows me her excitement in geysers and soaks.
I wonder and worry I must miss a beat,
she's shy I'm low
something is not right