enough

I was reading an article on people who commit suicide on the Golden gate bridge, reading about hopelessness and helplessness.

Apparently one means nothing will get better, and the other means there is nothing I can do about it.

I don’t believe that things will never get better.  I would like to kill myself because there is nothing I can do about it.

There is nothing I can do about it. You've had your chance and there is nothing you can do to make things better for me.

You cut me yesterday, it was as if you slashed through my veins and cut me open.

You are getting married in September, do you know how that news felt to me. Things will never get better. How can it?

Should I wait for 3 days every few months? Should I hide, and listen to lectures about me and how I am a curse.

Should I continue to sneak into spaces to hold you? I would rather die. I would rather jump from the roof of the building that I work at.

I would rather cross the street and get hit by a racing car. I would rather lie in bed and sleep my life away.

You cannot think of me if all I am to you is delete.

You have a man, you have children, you have a life, you have prospects. With you I am nothing. Nothing but a joke, nothing but dirt, nothing but an insult.

I ask to be given.

I refuse to ask

I take

I take for myself a chance to fail or win, to kiss in the glorious sunshine whomever I please, to dream about my family with my woman, a woman like me.

Scream, shout, cry, die – let me go or stay with me

I am sad sad sad to my soul – ki tsaya da ni ko ki barni, amma baza ki san ni hauka

stand with me or let me go, but you will not turn me insane