modalert whinge

I hate tai chi not been in 3 weeks. Damn thing is paid for. I love tai chi I just hate people. Washing cups and lifting chairs? I pay 200 pounds to lift chairs?

And yoga can’t go anymore – broke. Miss it though. The heat – don’t miss the hurry to & fro. But the feeling afterwards that I miss. It took 3 hours out of my day to get home late and wet.

Made a choice, modalert cost too much to waste. So I go home & study or at least I did the last 3 days. I did more work in a day than I have done in ages. It was tough though. I could sit still, every 15 minutes I would feel the wave, the urge to quit. I ignored it and pushed through. I still have not reached anywhere near enough but compared to the paltry 1& half hours I use to max this is heaven.

I’m worried though 200mg is a lot maybe I do have ADDH and didn’t know it. It would explain a lot. The drug is for Narcolepsy? Can I just say I sleep like a baby; maybe is the 2 hour work out then dinner.

Nah! I took the pill once, granted with food, and fell right asleep.

But it does work, already I am worrying that this won’t. I may develop a tolerance too early. Well the aim is to take it only when I want to study, to make sure I do sit down and stay there and do some work.

I am approaching it like getting fit. At first everything hurts and you can’t do most of the postures. You can’t breathe, you are exhausted but you can feel the goodness happening.

With studying, I know it has only been 3 days but I don’t feel motivated. I want to use the modalert to keep motivated when I do get the spark.

Jeez!

 I really don’t care I just want to be able to put in the time and do some work. Quality and quantity mental work to pass the damn exams!

They are going to charge me for an extension those SAGE bstds! Jeez!

Got an interview on Tuesday, with modalert I may finally be able to sit down and prepare for an interview.

Who knew? Really!

This all waffle –

Waiting to go to the Xmas party! Don’t want to go. It’s cold and dark and I have to go with work people to meet work people for a party that is not supposed to feel like work party but is.