Embarassed

OH, WELL, THIS IS EMBARRASSING...

Humiliation. We find out how to beat your blushes

Embarrassment is an emotion that’s tricky to hide. We might be adept at suppressing feelings like anger or sadness, but when we experience a social mishap since Charles Darwin deemed it “the most peculiar and most human of all expressions.”

“It’s a physiological reaction and it often makes us feel worse because it’s like a neon light telling everyone how we’re feeling,” “But if you can change your reaction to an awkward situation, you might be able to bring under control. When we feel humiliated we automatically tend to engage in catastrophic thinking. We might think, ‘I’m useless, I’m stupid’ but it’s about changing those thought processes. Be kind to yourself, don’t judge yourself and remember that you don’t have to be perfect.”

AND BREATHE...

“When we’re in an embarrassing situation our breathing becomes more shallow which can lead to difficulty in speaking. Take long, deep breaths and you’ll feel far more in control,” says Ruth. In which case you can...

“Embrace that embarrassing situation; apparently blushing makes us more likeable and also more likely to be forgiven for our faux pas”

LAUGH IT OFF

“Remember that people warm to you more when you make mistakes. It’s endearing. Besides, embarrassing situations always make entertaining stories,” says Ruth. Which is why Emerald Street can now laugh about the time we slipped on a discarded kebab in the street and landed in an oncoming baby’s buggy (the baby was fine). Mortifying at the time, funny now.

IDENTIFY YOUR FEELINGS

“Mindfulness is the practice of taking a step back from your feelings, identifying them and allowing yourself to experience them. It’s really useful when you feel a bit foolish. Step back from the shame and just watch it. Remember it’s just a feeling and that it will pass,” says Ruth.

USE BLUSHING TO YOUR BENEFIT

If you still can’t help feeling silly when you’ve said or done the wrong thing, take heart in research by Dutch psychologists Corine Dijk, Peter de Jong and Madelon Peters, published in the journal Emotion. They argue that we’ve evolved to blush to signal that we’re remorseful and crucially, they found that blushing makes us more likeable and more likely to be forgiven. http://www.emeraldstreet.com