Mildly Suicidal

What is wrong with me

I have had good feedback, good comments at work but I still feel defeated.

The money situation is killing me

The lack of family support situation is killing me

The struggle to work to pass - and I will pass

Is killing me

I am glad I’m going to Yoga today – I cannot bear to think the cost of the classes I missed – the cost of not going.

Damn D and the birthday party she did not attend. Damn R for not knowing to look out for me. Damn me for having no sense.

October is a nightmare

My achievements

I went to work – just one day sick

I attended every painful day of that course and did the coursework well on time.

I have had amazing comments from one of my bosses regarding my work

 I have attended every tai chi class so far

I have made a timetable for studying I haven’t given up on yet

I have attended every French lesson and did the homework too

I am still aiming to walk my dogs twice a day

I have been as supportive as I can to my sister

I have tried to cope with my mum’s games

I am trying

I have bought ginseng & St John’s Wort to help with my mental stress

Today I don’t feel like killing myself right now. Not right at this very moment

I don’t feel like it should all end not at this instant

I don’t feel numb, I have a headache.

I don’t wish I were dead