So far ...
Life is good in general. I think I got duped Saturday morning walking the dogs. Some man came upto me with a story. His car's been towed, he is an electrician his has no money needs to get to Essex. Long story short I gave him £13 and my phone number. Big surprise did not hear from him, so much for the Good Samaritan.
Same day went for Quran lessons, lesson cancelled because the Ustad can’t teach me alone. That pissed me off. Managed to get some homework, Yr says he refused to answer his phone call. I guess he doesn’t want to get paid, his problem. I had to tell him off he thinks Yr is my fiancée was going on about what a good man he was etc. Why can’t he be professional? Told him I was doing this for me etc. Didn’t give a damn about other people’s opinion, we agreed I was a strange one, little does he know.
This is the crap that puts me off religion, my religion especially is surrounded by male hurdles, rules and customs to strengthen and define a man’s role in a woman life. It is annoying. The truth is we need balance. At least I need balance. All the exercise in the world, diets, work success means less without balance.
There is nothing I can do about relationship and emotional one -on -one stuff until she comes. I am working on the work stuff, the physical stuff, the people stuff. I am trying to work on the spiritual stuff and I refuse to let a gaggle of housewives and some man and religious etiquette get in my way.
It is so easy to drown. So easy to party or go look for parties come home covered with self loathing and emptiness, so easy to be cynical and brittle and bitter. But that is not me. Not anymore, at least not while I have the energy to work at it. I still believe in me.
I was thinking I am not sure I am comfortable with transgender folks. I know right shock horror! Lesbian not comfortable with transgender? I was going to volunteer at some charity and it got me thinking. I am not sure I would be unhappy if they rejected my application. I am human as prejudiced as everyone else out there.
Anyway today is good. My hair is looking healthy, still no length, but there is some retention. I hold on to the dream that come year end I will be pleasantly surprised by my hair length.
I need to pick up on my P1 moving from 10 minutes a day to at least a full question and hopefully a chapter. Still sticking with my ballet, I believe it is what has helped me the most. The ballet exercises both mentally and physically. I ordered the Tai Chi video from the YouTube guy, my movements are smoother. I just get so exhausted after the ballet I want to quit, especially when he keeps up yammering on. I found a Wing chun video I am trying to follow. As with everything the key is breathing. I will breathe when I figure out what the heck is going on!
Music, I feel ready to reconnect with the notes now, stalled now for ages, not giving up though.
I saw turning 30, a Bollywood film, loved it lesbian sidekick and all.
Same day went for Quran lessons, lesson cancelled because the Ustad can’t teach me alone. That pissed me off. Managed to get some homework, Yr says he refused to answer his phone call. I guess he doesn’t want to get paid, his problem. I had to tell him off he thinks Yr is my fiancée was going on about what a good man he was etc. Why can’t he be professional? Told him I was doing this for me etc. Didn’t give a damn about other people’s opinion, we agreed I was a strange one, little does he know.
This is the crap that puts me off religion, my religion especially is surrounded by male hurdles, rules and customs to strengthen and define a man’s role in a woman life. It is annoying. The truth is we need balance. At least I need balance. All the exercise in the world, diets, work success means less without balance.
There is nothing I can do about relationship and emotional one -on -one stuff until she comes. I am working on the work stuff, the physical stuff, the people stuff. I am trying to work on the spiritual stuff and I refuse to let a gaggle of housewives and some man and religious etiquette get in my way.
It is so easy to drown. So easy to party or go look for parties come home covered with self loathing and emptiness, so easy to be cynical and brittle and bitter. But that is not me. Not anymore, at least not while I have the energy to work at it. I still believe in me.
I was thinking I am not sure I am comfortable with transgender folks. I know right shock horror! Lesbian not comfortable with transgender? I was going to volunteer at some charity and it got me thinking. I am not sure I would be unhappy if they rejected my application. I am human as prejudiced as everyone else out there.
Anyway today is good. My hair is looking healthy, still no length, but there is some retention. I hold on to the dream that come year end I will be pleasantly surprised by my hair length.
I need to pick up on my P1 moving from 10 minutes a day to at least a full question and hopefully a chapter. Still sticking with my ballet, I believe it is what has helped me the most. The ballet exercises both mentally and physically. I ordered the Tai Chi video from the YouTube guy, my movements are smoother. I just get so exhausted after the ballet I want to quit, especially when he keeps up yammering on. I found a Wing chun video I am trying to follow. As with everything the key is breathing. I will breathe when I figure out what the heck is going on!
Music, I feel ready to reconnect with the notes now, stalled now for ages, not giving up though.
I saw turning 30, a Bollywood film, loved it lesbian sidekick and all.
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