A talking drum bleeds – A Christmas tale

A talking drum bleeds – A Christmas tale
24th December - A mother’s desperate action
25th December - A father receives text on Xmas day
Father please forgive me
26th December - A single father on his way home from work
A flat tyre on the highway
1st January - A man hands himself over in the police station
I have killed my wife

We are a varied people, we are the first time you saw a rainbow
We are this and more our tones range from the ivory of the former mighty elephants’ tusks to the darkest ebony
The world began from us the, we shall be the last to leave
Our hearts are at once generous and wicked. We are a supernatural people
Have you ever heard the talking drum?

We have not seen Pharaoh, they have stolen Pharaoh
Strong, loyal, vigilant he patrols our street day and night
All know him he knows who belongs and who does not
Dare you to walk our street after midnight


She took him out during the day, she bathed him dressed him and fed him
He looked at his mother with love and sleep
He had never been so full
Where are we going Mama?
A neighbour saw her
The neighbour claimed he followed her to her business

I was on my way home from work when I had a flat tyre.
I stopped to change the tyre on the side of the road when a car stopped behind me
They were young two women and a man
Are you ok they asked?
Yes yes everything is fine I replied
Is everything fine they asked of me?
Yes I replied
They were next to me
One young woman had a gun
I cannot swear if is real or not
What do you have inside your car?
She slapped me across my face
They ransacked the car
The took my blackberry, my daughter’s laptop
They took the ten thousand naira I was holding for my niece,
They took fifty thousand naira for my uncle’s bill
They ransacked the car and took 1000 Euros
I am a lowly public servant
Every month I take a fraction of my salary and convert it to Euros
I had finally accumulated enough to start a trust
I am a single father,
I have one baby my daughter
Life is hard for a girl child
They beat me and left me on the road
They did not find the other blackberry
My daughter still has a father
Next month I will start again


Pharaoh is a lucky dog
All who live on our street love him
He enters every compound during Eid
And whether there was cow, ram, goat or chicken slaughtered in celebration
Pharaoh had his share
Our children love him and we respect him
Where is Pharaoh? Our people can commit such abominations

In this holiday season that is when the SMS comes into its own
Our postal system is a non functional relic and a phone call cost so much!
A King received a text
He kisses his teeth as he trolls through the numerous well wishes and greetings for the holiday season.
Why can’t people bother to spell anymore! Such incoherent rubbish!
How can I know who it is from if they do not bother to sign their name
Father please forgive me and forgive anything I have ever done to hurt you
To shame our family
I am sending this text to you from the Yemen to let you know that I have disowned you and our family
I disown you my father and my mother.
I disown my brothers and my sisters of those of my mother’s and those of your other wives’.
Please forgive me but I must follow my path
I must fulfil my destiny and duty
His daughter runs in, Baba watch Sky News they say my brother is on TV


Pharaoh has thick muscles, his tail ever wagging
His tongue lolling his eyes bright
Dogs are such unclean animals
But not Pharaoh
Even the old men on our street love him


There is no electricity at the police station
It is a hot afternoon on New Year’s Day
The Oga big boss is out
The officers are junior and poor
Running away from their family’s demands for money
If they are not home they do not have to worry about money for lunch or breakfast.
Their wives will find away to find something for dinner
They always do


I have come to confess
I have killed my wife
What nonsense!
Why can’t we have a peaceful New Year!
I have killed my wife I tell you!
She killed my son,
She came to me pretending to cry
Saying she was anxious my son was missing
She claimed he went out with his friends
And neither she nor they knows where he is
She did not realise that our neighbour followed her where she met her nefarious friends.
Cohorts in evil deeds, ungodly souls, vacant except of the darkness they harbour
Such darkness that swallows all light, all goodness, merciless unnatural human beings
I grab a knife to her throat
I held her head under my arm and I squeezed tightly
I warned her, I asked her, where is my son!
Her arms were flailing but I swear to you it was not because I was choking the life out her
It was the devil within her she was fighting against
But I will conquer the devil and he will loosen his grip on her tongue for she must confess
I dragged her to the bedroom to the black bin bag
So much money everywhere
And then I slit her throat

The Police found the child’s intestines at the place
It is said that she stood watch as her son’s meat was cut to little pieces
They say she sold her son, her bright sun


The King called the security services
His son had tried to commit an atrocity in foreign lands with foreign peoples for a foreign doctrine
It is said that he was his father’s favoured child he prayed five times and recited the passages
He was soft spoken and quite
He was naive and wanted to get caught


The single father told no one except his mother and his priest
He sent his daughter away
And wakes up some nights with tears on his face

Pharaoh has no owner
He owns our street
It is said that he was captured for food
It is the holidays after all and man must eat