hausa, tits & bits

Nonona (mama) na neman a latsashi. Ba wai inna nufin wai a latsa min shi ba. Ko da yake bazan ki wata mumina ta tayani ba.

Barina fara daga faruko.

Yau da tsafe de nake shrin zuwa aiki, na hanga nonona a madubi. Sai wata magana da uwata ta tabba fadda mini ya shiga hankali na. Ta kalla nonona ta ce, wai ma ya sameki ne. Da kike yarinya nonon ki nada kyau. A yau keche  yanzu da shanyeyen nonno hakka?

 Ko braziyan ki ne bas hi da kyau?

Allah ya saka mata, sai ta kai ni Marks and Spenser ta kace pound sterling seba’in da biyar haka. Ta sayomini sambin bra masu kyau, ma su sexy wai ana kiran irin su “plunge bra”. Ni da na gan haka na dauka nonnon zasu  tashi da kansu.

Isa wata ukku har yanzu noonon dai na nan kaman pitta bread biyu. Ido na ne? ko mai ne?

Basically my tits look wack! They look flat and lifeless and I am D cup. Crazy really, well not really like everything biological if you don’t use it you lose it. So I have decided to spend some time each day massaging them. “Them” being my tits believe me and there is nothing erotic about it either.

It is quite sad when you think about it. I am by definition a spinster, spending time sitting half naked facing the mirror massaging my tits. I could massage my tits every time I go to the loo. I go alot. I blame the sedentary job.

Oh my boss is stepping out, tit massage time.  Go on get some blood pumping through those sacs. Funny when I was a teen I hated the damn things. I don’t particularly want to be Betty Boop but if I am a D cup I need to look like a D cup.

I think I should go back to my NYC ballet DVDs. My legs are acting strange, my knees are sore, my soles cramp and there is a funny sensation around my right shin. It could be that I am just becoming aware of my muscles and bits more since the Tai chi and yoga practices.

I remember being at Candy bar before the accident thinking gosh I can stand on one leg without cramping. I must have been smirking like an idiot. Went downstairs, got rat-arsed and hated myself for months afterwards.

Moving on from that stream of negativity, I need to strengthen my legs and those videos were amazing. Don’t want those stick yoga legs or those stumpy tai chi legs. I am going for well proportioned like a dancer’s!

Can’t believe I let myself get talked into going out for drinks with C and Y. I wonder if M wants to go too. I could be at home sorting out my hair, bathing my dogs or mentally preparing myself to study, “time is running”.

But I don’t need it becoming an issue as long as I get to do my yoga I can spare 4 hours! Jesus!

My hair plan this weekend is Amla on my braids, bag it then walk the dogs. Read the label a few days back, I was meant to leave it for at least an hour. Who knew?

Then wash then deep condition and seal ends with olive oil. Bag it and under the drier for not more than 20 minutes (finally learning). Rinse, towel dry apply M’s expensive Alveda conditioner. Wash the dogs, rinse out hair.

The likelihood of this happening today is shaky. At least Y is getting the cat or so he says. And the M should be here next week!! Crossing all digits!